Please...tell me you didn't?

Have you ever had an awkward moment with the person seated next to you?
Did you at least know this person or was it a stranger?
I'm hear with an important reminder about stranger danger. And that in some cases, it is better to stand than to sit in the only seat left on a crowded bus.
God may have been trying to teach me a lesson today and sadly I ignored it.
When on a packed bus, desperately searching for a seat I spotted one near the middle next to a nice older lady.(white hair, rosy cheeks, poorly applied lipstick and all)
On a side note, all nice looking old ladies are like decepticons and not to be trusted!!!
Continuing with my story.
I took the seat, smiling politely like my mother taught me. The woman returned the smile, wrinkle-y eyes hardly open. And that's when I understood why no one was sitting directly next to her.
Do you ever notice how much more tolerable an atrocious smell is when you're not exposed directly to it, or in this case seated right next to it?
I do believe this was a senior citizen, that used 'adult diapers' or at least I sincerely hope she was wearing something along those lines.
And because I feel I should share the horrifying fact with everyone...said kind, sweet looking decepticon old lady began releasing some awful sounding 'squishy' farts.
Now if you're anything like me, you've started silently gagging, your eyes are beginning to tear up and you want to die. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!
Seeing as before I could escape, the entire isle filled with angry travelers. I looked up desperately to the man towering over me in his cowboy hat.
"Would you like to take my seat sir?" Followed by the epically timed decepticon mass destruction, end of the world, seat shaking poot...yes, I said poot.
Wide-eyed Señor in the cowboy hat, silently shook his head 'no' and turned away in shame filled horror.
I swear! No one got off that damn bus, I sat and suffered practically the whole way to school.
And although I had wished to douse the insanely gaseous lady with body spray and offer her my cell phone so that she may call 911 because I wasn't entirely sure if she was about to die or what.
The smell was beyond terrible, I'm quite certain that more than 1 other person could smell it, considering that all the windows were open.
May God have mercy on the next person to make the same mistake that I did. A lot of mercy.